If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
