i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
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He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
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Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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