We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
