Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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