garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
