marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
