do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
