is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
