he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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