I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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