can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
