you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
