she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize