Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
