This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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