Kareoke will never be a sober sport
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
