after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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