ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
