Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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