He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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