OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
