Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize