I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i think i have herpe
just one?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
