like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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