It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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