oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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