mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
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