All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
