she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
