I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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