you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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