but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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