If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
