Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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