saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
