I can't watch pbs sober anymore
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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