I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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