Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Blood and glitter go together right?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
