i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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