That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't deserve a penis
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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