She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
