i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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