My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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