Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
