ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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