Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
