Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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