he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
