is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
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i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
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Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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