There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
a search helicopter?!
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
