On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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