BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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