is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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