the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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