so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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