My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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