Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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