i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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