but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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