shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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