I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
