alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
