I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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