woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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