R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
